Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize