I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
