You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
