you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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