I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
