so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
