The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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