the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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