I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize