Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
