umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
