Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So vagazzling was a success
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
