so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
