YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
