I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
two words: eviction party
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
