so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
