i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
