I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize