Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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