Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
