Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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