I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
