I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize