either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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