I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
