She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
