hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
