Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
