I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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