..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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