How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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