Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
