I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
