p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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