apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
