Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
