Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
