who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize