Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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