She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
