remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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