I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize