i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
