Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
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i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
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Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are