sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
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it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
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Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.