Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.