just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
