I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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