The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
