You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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