is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
sarcasm needs its own font
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
