I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
