walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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