So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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