I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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