I love black thongs
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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