My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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