I intend to get homeless drunk
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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