I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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